Serving the Soldier - Part 4 (An Alpha Military Romance) by Grey Helen

Author:Grey, Helen [Grey, Helen]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2015-07-20T07:00:00+00:00

Chapter 4

I drove back to Jax’s house, distracted, my mind spinning with so many musings I didn't realize until a horn blared behind me that I was startled back into full awareness. I quickly glanced down at the speedometer and saw that I was driving fifteen miles under the speed limit. The car that had blasted its horn at me pulled around to pass. I glanced at the driver and saw him give me the finger. I made a face and shook my head.

Paying more attention now, I traveled the interstate back toward Hilton Head, continuing to berate myself.

What the hell had I been thinking?

It seemed to me that I had been asking myself that a lot lately, but it was true. Sleeping with a patient. Snooping through his things. Now this… following him!

What business was it of mine? What had I hoped to accomplish? To make sure he'd gotten there okay? That was stupid. If he had fatigued while driving, I'm sure he had enough brains to pull off to the side of the road and rest. Just like I assumed he'd done at the diner.

What gave me the right to spy on Jax? I swore. Nothing. Absolutely nothing gave me the right. There was no commitment between us other than that of a nurse and her patient. I was in way over my head. I felt like I was drowning, searching for something to keep my head above water.

The problem was, the only thing that I felt was my life raft was fast becoming the object of an obsession for me. I couldn't believe I had allowed things to go this far. I thought I had maintained more control over my emotions than this. To drive after him? To spy on him? Ugh. I was freakin’ obsessed!

I took a deep breath and loosened my grip on my steering wheel. Beating myself up wasn’t helping. I took another deep breath and tried to sort through my messed up mind.

Maybe it was more than obsession or even infatuation. Was it a strange sense that only I could protect him?

That was so funny that I snorted out loud. Jax didn't need me. Before I’d walked into his house, he didn't even know I existed. He had done just fine without me in his life. All I was supposed to do was oversee his rehabilitation.

From nowhere, tears blurred my vision and I felt obligated to pull off at the next off-ramp. I needed to get off the freeway before I caused an accident. At the bottom of the off-ramp, I pulled into a combination gas station and convenience store. Parking away from other cars, I turned off the engine and just sat there, staring, seeing but not really paying attention to the people walking into and out of the store.

Life went on around me and yet I felt as if I was stuck in a mire, a sinking pit of quicksand. I'm pretty sure that Jax had no idea how I really felt about him.

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